Below are some commonly asked questions and answers.
- Why doesn’t The B-Sort tell me what decision to make?
- If the B-Sort does not tell me what decision to make, how does it help me?
- I can’t relate some of the statements to the instructions “Sort these statements according to how decided you are about staying in or leaving your relationship now”.
- I just broke up with my partner yesterday. Would the B-Sort still apply to me?
- There are more statements that are “Like me” than there are spaces for. What do I do because they are not “irrelevant” or "neutral" to me?
- What if I sort the statements wrong?
- I don’t know what some of the statements mean.
- I don’t understand how to use the "Not like me" side of the Sorting Board.
- Why are there so few statements about my partner?
- Do my partner and I do the B-Sort together?
- How many times can I do the B-Sort?
- There
are two columns under the heading 'Most Like Me'. Do they count the
same?
1) Question:
Why doesn’t The B-Sort tell me what decision to make?Answer:
A relationship dilemma is complex and personal. We have seen that the best quality solution to a relationship problem must come from the individual person. Once you have resolved your inner conflict you will know what decision is best for you. The B-Sort is designed to move you towards a resolution of your inner conflict.
2) Question:
If the B-Sort does not tell me what decision to make, how does it help me?Answer:
It helps you be more objective about yourself and your relationship.
That is, it can help you gain a new view of your dilemma or validate how you think and feel.
3) Question:
I can’t relate some of the statements to the instructions “Sort these statements according to how decided you are about staying in or leaving your relationship now”.Answer:
The B-Sort works best if you sort the statements according to how decided you are about staying in or leaving your relationship. If you cannot relate to this instruction, then try reading each statement and deciding whether or not you agree with it. If you agree with it, place it on the left hand section of the Sorting Board. If you do not agree with it, place it on the right hand section of the Sorting Board. If you consider the statement to be neutral or irrelevent place it in the discard pile.
4) Question:
I just broke up with my partner yesterday. Would the B-Sort still apply to me?Answer:
Yes. If you were considering reconciling with your partner it would be helpful to do the B-Sort. It may also validate your decision to break up.5) Question:
There are more statements that are “Like me” than there are spaces for. What do I do because they are not “irrelevant” or "neutral" to me?Answer:
Use the statements that are most relevant to you and discard the others.6) Question:
What if I sort the statements wrong?Answer:
There is no right or wrong way to sort the statements. How you sort the statements reflects your decision-making process at the moment of sorting.7) Question:
I don’t know what some of the statements mean.Answer:
Send us an e-mail.8) Question:
I don’t understand how to use the "Not like me" side of the Sorting Board.Answer:
View the whole Sorting Board in terms of ‘I agree’ or ‘I disagree’ with each statement. For example, a person may view the statement ‘I feel stuck’ as an appropriate description of themselves. In other words, they agree with the statement and now have to decide whether they strongly agree, moderately agree or mildly agree. This allows them to place the statement somewhere between "Most like me" and "Somewhat like me". On the other hand, if a person disagrees with the statement ‘I feel stuck.’ they may want to place it on the "Not like me" side of the Sorting Board according to how strongly they disagree with the statement.Consider that placing a statement on the "Not like me" side means the opposite. For example, ‘I feel stuck’ means ‘I don’t feel stuck’ when placed on the "Not like me" side of the Sorting Board.
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9) Question:
Why are there so few statements about my partner?Answer:
The B-Sort process focuses on the thoughts and feelings you have about your partner rather than on your partner's thoughts and feelings about you.10) Question:
Do my partner and I do the B-Sort together?Answer:
No. The B-Sort is an individual exercise, however, it is helpful for each member of the couple to do his or her own B-Sort.11) Question:
How many times can I do the B-Sort?Answer:
Payment allows you to do the B-Sort one time.The B-Sort is sensitive to changes in you; therefore it reflects your current state of mind and feelings which may change from day to day based upon what is going on in your life. It may be meaningful for you to do the B-Sort more than once as your situation changes and your understanding of the source for your inner conflict.
12) Question: There are two columns under the heading 'Most Like Me'. Do they count the
same?Answer:
On the far left hand side, the column with two spaces is where you will place the 2 statements in the whole deck that are the most like you, the column with three spaces is where you will place the next 3 statements that are most like you. As the columns get longer the degree of importance of each statement in it is less than the previous column.On the far right hand side, the column with two spaces is where you will place the 2 statements in the whole deck that are the most NOT like you, the column with three spaces is where you will place the next 3 statements that are most NOT like you. As the columns get longer the degree of importance of each statement in it is less than the previous column.
Within each column all statements count the same.
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